The program teaches them to learn to accept themselves but what does that look like on a practical level? Looking yourself in the mirror and saying "this is what I was given and I am going to work with it. I may not be where I want to be but I am going to love me while working on getting to where I want to be." The pressures to look and feel beautiful start at a younger age as a result of parental, peer, environmental and other social pressures. With the media portraying such unrealistic standards of beauty, it is understandable why people have so many self-esteem and body image issues.
While it may be understandable, it is not acceptable, there needs to be a beauty revolution-- be gentle and kind to yourself, magnify your positives and make the liberating discovery that we are not perfect, we all have flaws and there is nothing wrong with that!
The first step is education- people need to know that they are not alone, the reasons they feel the way they do and all the factors that play into the situation. BET has made it their duty to respond to this issue of body image so many people struggle with. So when I was invited to attend the taping with The King's Daughters, I was so excited to know that intital steps were being taken to rectify the misconceptions. Thanks to BET for realizing the gravity of the situation and responding to it reaching one of the demographics that is mostly affected.
Three panelists were invited to respond to questions and share information with the audience. I would have preferred to hear more practical responses from the expert panelists. I think they were knowledgeable about their field but did not seem relate to their audience and extend the knowledge in a relevant manner.
For example, someone asked "what advice would you give to a person if they want to look like a celebrity?"-- this question was answered by the plastic surgeon in a very light hearted manner "I would lock you up in a room and beat the crap out of you until you change your mind because you should never want to look like anyone else" Now granted his intention was pure, he is trying to encourage the female who asked the question to accept herself and strive to be no one else but herself. But is it me or is it just a little ironic that a plastic surgeon (person who has a lifestyle of changing people who have not accepted themselves for how they look) responded in what I would consider an unfavorable manner- lets not be judgmental -- I digress. However if this is a real issue that the female was asking then she was not only insulted in TV but the question was just avoided in a sense.I would have liked to hear something more encouraging, factual and inspiring.
Another question came in from Twitter "what should I do if people keep teasing me about my complexion because my skin is really dark?" The response (not verbatim) was you can use XYZ product to blend your complexion.... and "if the problem persists then you can see a dermatologist"!!!!!!!! I'm sorry... "if the problem persists"-- what problem exactly are we addressing? I did not know that having dark complexion was a problem-- acne is a problem not dark skin!
Another response I wished was more thoughtfully considered was to a question about light and dark blotches on their face and acne... the response was "you know this is for minor issues, I'm not talking like Michael Jackson".... OK while we know that MJ had a skin disease and it is possible the panelist was speaking from a very objective standpoint ( I honestly believe it was not a low blow)-- we are so not ready for comments about him like that. Does anyone know what RIP means?
What BET meant to do was awesome:
This documentary certainly changed my mood. Sundance Fim festival featured this Chris Rock project on black hair called Good Hair-- he highlights the cultural and business side of what it means to have "good hair". The project began when his daughter Lola came to him asking "Daddy, how comes I don't have good hair?" The comedian devoted himself to research to find out where the concept of "good hair" originated from. Kudos to Chris Rock for embarking on the journey to answer such an important question.
Another huge turning point for me was when Rocsi shared that she struggled with weight issues and body image. When she was in high school she was 75 lbs and was a cheerleader, she would starve herself- she suffered from anorexia. I think it was a huge step for to speak out because so many girls look up to her and now they can understand that she is not perfect, that when she wakes up in the morning, she does not look the way she appears on TV, that it tathat kes 3 hours for her to get "beautiful" for the taping and that we should "not judge others because you can be the person helping to kill them."Watch hear other girls stories
The issues: hair, complexion and weightSome girls shared their body image issues. Before Sandra G revealed her issue, voters polled but was weird is that when they guessed what this female was struggling with- complexion was the number one vote. Her issue was actually hair and props to Sandra for pulling her wig off on stage in front of so many viewers.
Aminat- America's Next top Model
We were taken "backstage" to see before and after shots of how models transform for a photo shoot. she taled about her flaws and how they are edited out.
She was asked for advice and said what I have always been saying and telling me students "don't try to look like a model because they don't even look like that. I would say be healthy, eat right, stay fit and drink alot of water."
Taina
After the show, Kristen-Brianna and I caught up with Tiana (one of the ladies who revealed their body struggles). Her issue was weight and she wanted to do surgery because she was so tired of battling her weight and tired of being "the fat girl". She was so sweet and adorable as she spoke to us; its so terrible how we judge people on their looks or ostracize people because of their differences. You never know what people are dealing with, why they are the way they are so learn to be sensitive. Make an effort to focus less on your differences and more on similarities. Commit to being kinder to yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself- ladies and men... you are beautiful.